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If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
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If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
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A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
As the post said, \'Only God can make a tree,\' probably because it\'s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
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He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
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Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, \'Don\'t you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?\' I said \'I didn\'t know there were any witnesses. Now I\'ll have to kill you too\'.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
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Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is \'to be prepared\'.
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First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
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There\'s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
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Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn\'t.
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They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you\'ve got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn\'t your biggest problem.
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When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
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I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It\'s pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
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If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
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It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren\'t, then I\'d be a teacher.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air ? however slight ? lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
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Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
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The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
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Everywhere I go I\'m asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don\'t stifle enough of them.
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As the post said, \'Only God can make a tree,\' probably because it\'s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
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I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
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Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
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Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
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Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
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The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
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Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
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The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
As the post said, \'Only God can make a tree,\' probably because it\'s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
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I\'m Jewish. I don\'t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
Hanlon\'s Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
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Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
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I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
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Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/17/(Tue) 22:12
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